St. Vincent and a Theology of Imperfection

The Glory of God is humanity fully alive.

- St. Irenaeus

One of the communities I am a part of, Street Psalms (http://www.streetpsalms.org), talks a good bit about the spirituality of imperfection.  In fact one of quotes that still rattles around my brain years after taking part in classes with that grassroots ministry training organization is "I don't trust my strengths anymore.  I trust my weaknesses, they are more honest."  In a world where everything is "strength-based" this type of thinking is like a foreign language to our ears.  Most of us are familiar with seeking to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses.  The stark reality is that beyond maximizing what we are good at, we'd do well to NEVER expose any weakness - certainly not in public.  We have all seen it before a leader has a public gaffe or admits a shortcoming and their position as a leader disappears.  This is most true for leaders in faith communities where being overly transparent is both scarce and scary.  Pastors and other leaders of faith tend to guard their imperfections from those they lead for fear of losing their ability to minister.  Often, being seen as "too human" is a condition that makes the "product" they are producing seem suspect to those consuming it.

In the middle of this dependance on duplicity for those dedicated and devoted (even mastering) divinity is the reality that we are all broken people.  All of us have weaknesses.  However, Sainthood it seems does not want to see the imperfections, just the inspiration.  Mother Teresa did not want the personal letters that became the book "Come Be My Light" which chronicled her vivid feelings of estrangement from God to be released.  In the end her letters of lack of faith were published and she went on being lauded for her work among the poor, not her honesty about the struggle of faith.

Yesterday night I sat in a movie theater and cried.  I don't often cry at movies, but I sat in the dark next to my wife and daughters and choked back tears as I watched St. Vincent.  In fact I did more than choke back tears, I did the work of making sure that I, a full-grown man, did not blubber like a toddler in public.  The story on the screen was the best example of the reality of the Spirituality of Imperfection I have ever seen.  In short Bill Murray's character, the "seriously flawed" Vincent is nominated for Saint Hood by his young neighbor.  While Vincent is an alcohol bathed curmudgeon who is a victim of many vices, he also turns out to be a man who cares for people (and his cat) and loves life.  He is about as flawed as a person can be, but he is a saint.  Just like you and me...if we can stop fooling ourselves and those around us long enough to be honest.

Another quote that follows me around is one of my instructors saying, "maybe we care more about what we do than God does."  That statement messed me up for a long time because so much of what we do is tied to how we see people, but as time wears on I wonder if it is more about we humans looking at the outward appearance and God looking at the heart.  Toward the end of another piece of film I love Bruce Springsteen says, "I think whatever divinity we can claim to is hidden in the core of our humanity, and when we let go, when we let our compassion go, we let go of what little claim we have to the divine."  I thick Bruce is right, whatever divinity we can put our hands on is buried deep inside our humanity.  When we admit our humanness, our brokeness, our need for God - then God comes near.  When we stop trying to be perfect and expecting those around us to be flawless we see God acting in our midst.  We are all sinners and saints.

"flowers growing out of the desert

flowers out of parched ground

flowers coming right up through the cracks

of the pavement in your old town

flowering's not a science

it's more like a fine art

flowers coming right up through the cracks

of our broke up little hearts

we all need new beginnings
the first steps make you better
maybe you're just a prayer away
from getting your shit together"

~ Flowers by Bill Mallonee