The Issue with Same-Sex Marriage...and it's not what you think (or why I'm not posting on Facebook like my salvation depends on it)

This past weekend I went to a wedding.  It was a wedding between a man and a woman that happened to take place on the same day the Supreme Court of the United States declared same-sex marriage the law of the land.  At the end of that joyful event the presiding pastor said something that I think is at the core of the same-sex controversy and the churches response to it.  The pastor (a dear friend) said, "By the power given to me by the State and the Church I now pronounce you husband and wife."  We have all heard that phrase a million times, but that statement is at the core of the issue.

My pastor friend made the same statement that many, many pastors have said in marriage ceremonies for a very long time.  However, the familiarity of this statement may be keeping us from seeing what is wrong here.  Why are pastors functioning as a State official?  In the marriage ceremony we mingle the Church and the State in a way that we do not do anywhere else in our country.  My pastor friend, was functioning as both an official of the Church AND the State in the wedding I witnessed this past Friday night.  That duel functioning is at the core of why the church is embroiled in the issue of same-sex marriage.

I'm going to get right to the point.  Pastors have no business whatsoever performing a State function. Pastors are called to represent the church and God, but not the government.  In the United States of America we have separated the church and the state...except at the alter of marriage.  But in that location we are happy to allow the distinction between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of this earth to be joined as much as the couple taking the vows.  This is a huge issue and one I don't hear being discussed at all in the uproar following the Supreme Court's decision.

When a couple gets married and chooses a church wedding two things are happening.  They are legally married (State) and they say vows in front of their community committing themselves to marriage (Church).  Both are important.  That being said, one is a function of the government and the other is an ecclesiastical function.  The two should not happen simultaneously as they do now.

What makes matters even more complex is that marriage is considered a sacrament in parts of the Christian church (the Catholic and Orthodox Churches) and even when not viewed as a sacrament is seen as a sacred institution ordained by God - about as close to a sacrament as you can get.  When viewed through this lens it appears that the State is involved in the sacramental functioning of the church.  Should this be so?  Does the State have a say in The Lord's Supper or Baptism?  Then why should it be part of marriage?

I am willing to bet that sometime after the ceremony I was at this past weekend the pastor had the witnesses sign the marriage license.  I am further willing to bet that he is responsible to file that document with the Bureau of Vital Statistics.  The signing, sealing and delivering of that document are all governmental functions.  This role, as governmental clerk, should not be part of the functioning of a pastor or the church.  The licensing of marriage should be left to the State.  The Christian ceremony of marriage, where the couple promise to God and each other to love, honor and cherish each other in every circumstance while standing in the middle of their community should be left to the church.

So what does this have to do with same-sex marriage.  Simply put, if we were to untangle the knot that binds the Church and State around marriage - and the issue of same-sex marriage - the church would be free to be the church.  The Constitution of the United States makes same-sex marriage inevitable.  You can't say "all men are created equal" and avoid it for long, legally.  If the Church were not tied so closely to the State on this matter we could simply let the State do what it needs to do, i.e., license marriage.  Also, if the Church and State were not married to each other in marriage, then the church could continue preforming marriages ceremonies that allow couples to pledge their love and commitment before God, each other, and their community without a connection to the laws of the State.

I am aware that I am not addressing the moral issue, or taking a public stance on the controversy.  While many are standing up and waving one flag or another, or shouting this position or that, I simply ask, "What Kingdom are you a part of?"  I personally see my citizenship in the Kingdom of God, thus the position of an earthly court ruling in an earthly kingdom is a secondary concern.

I was talking to a pastor friend of mine a year or so ago.  He said something I will never forget.  We had just been part of a larger group conversation with other Christian leaders about what we thought was the biggest threat to the church.  After the conversation I asked my pastor friend, an Anabaptist, why he hadn't given an answer.  He simply stated, "I don't really understand how anything outside the church can be a threat.  I'm worried about what happens inside the church."

I wonder if this debate over same-sex marriage isn't, in part, a matter of being concerned with the wrong kingdom.  Have we really separated the Church and the State, or are they married?  Are we so concerned that the earthly kingdom we find ourselves living in act in ways that reflect our personal position that we are forgetting where our citizenship really resides?  What Kingdom are we a part of?


PS - I apologize for the early version that was posted with "safe-sex" rather than "same-sex" (stupid auto fill) every time.  I was not making a statement about the Catholic Church contraception position, it was just a tech glitch and a human editing issue.

Standing With AND Against

"It doesn’t matter who you are
It does not matter what you say
Flesh shapes the day"
- The Night Watchman


Like many, many churches in the United States the church I attend, Crosspoint Community Church, stood and participated in the following litany (1) in solidarity with those that died in Charleston SC and the church in which they were slain:

A CALL TO WORSHIP FOR THE TRAGEDY IN CHARLESTON

[Leader]
We stand before you today, oh Lord
Hearts broken, eyes weeping, heads spinning
Our brothers and sisters have died
They gathered and prayed and then were no more
The prayer soaked walls of the church are spattered with blood
The enemy at the table turned on them in violence
While they were turning to you in prayer

[All]
We stand with our sisters
We stand with our brothers
We stand with their families
We stand to bear their burden in Jesus’ name

[Leader]
We cry out to you, oh Lord
Our hearts breaking, eyes weeping, heads spinning
The violence in our streets has come into your house
The hatred in our cities has crept into your sanctuary
The brokenness in our lives has broken into your temple
The dividing wall of hostility has crushed our brothers and sisters
We cry out to you, May your Kingdom come, may it be on earth as it is in heaven

[All]
We cry out for our sisters
We cry out for our brothers
We cry out for their families
We cry out for peace in Jesus’ name

[Leader]
We pray to you today, oh Lord
Our hearts breaking, eyes weeping, souls stirring
We pray for our enemies, we pray for those who persecute us
We pray to the God of all Comfort to comfort our brothers and sisters in their mourning
We pray that you would bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes
We pray that you would give them the oil of joy instead of mourning
We pray that you would give them a garment of praise in place of a spirit of despair

[All]
We pray for our sisters
We pray for our brothers
We pray for their families
We pray for their comfort in Jesus’ name

[Leader]
We declare together, oh Lord
With hearts breaking, eyes weeping and souls stirring
We will continue to stand and cry and weep with our brothers and sisters
We will continue to make a place of peace for even the enemies at our table
We will continue to open our doors and our hearts to those who enter them
We will continue to seek to forgive as we have been forgiven
We will continue to love in Jesus’ name because you taught us that love conquers all

[All]
We declare our love for you, our Sisters
We declare our love for you, our Brothers
We declare our love for you, their families
We declare our love as one body, one Lord, one faith, one baptism
We declare they do not grieve alone today

I was grateful for that moment in our service.  Our congregation is not one where current events often make their way into the service, especially in a liturgical way.  It was a beautiful moment of standing in solidarity with our brothers and sisters who died following the way of Jesus and something I am deeply grateful for.

That being said, I was struck by something - the lack of any mention of racism.  In our service the word racism didn't appear until the very end of our pastors prayer following the litany.  While I believe it was proper, and right, to stand with our martyred brothers and sisters I also believe we are called to stand up against the reason for their death - racism.

The omission of racism in the litany strikes me as the type of thing that perpetuates racism.  Not calling this act of racial terrorism what it is downplays the reality of the situation.  The shooting at Emanuel AME was not first and for most an act of persecution against Christians, it was a racially motivated mass shooting highlighting the continued struggle of race in America.

At this time in America, in light of Ferguson, Eric Garner, Charleston, and America's long history of racism what we need is a church that is willing to stand with our bothers and sisters AND against racism in all its forms.  It is time for the church to be prophetic.  As Dr. Cornel West states, “To prophesy, is not to predict an outcome but rather to identify concrete evils.” (2)  Racism is a concrete evil and we need to standing up in our churches and in public defiantly standing against it.  Standing alongside the victims without rising against the evil that caused there to be victims does very little.  If we are going to see change we must rise both with those martyred and marginalized, and against the ideas and individuals that perpetuate racism.

Last week all over Twitter people were calling for sermons about racism in America (excellent thoughts on this from Nadia Bolz-Weber).  I reTweeted one of those sentiments:

Joel Kiekintveld retweeted
Luke HⒶrms ‏@lukeharms Jun 18
If the pastor of your mostly-white church doesn't preach about America's original sin of racism this week, get up & flip a fucking table.

In the end, at my church, there was a litany, there was not a sermon (even though the parable discussed would have been a prefect jumping off point), and I did not turn over any tables.  Maybe I should have.


"So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,
for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female,
for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."
- Galatians 3:26-29

(1) Posted on http://onechurchliturgy.com.

(2) May 28, 2009 issue of Rolling Stone - http://www.cornelwest.com/articles.html#.VYg7viknhUQ  or http://killingthebuddha.com/mag/witness/the-supreme-love-and-revolutionary-funk-of-dr-cornel-west-philosopher-of-the-blues/

Guns, church, and President Obama OR Bullets, Bearing Witness, and Bans.

"Hey Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?"
- Jimi Hendrix

I grew up in world full of guns. Living in rural Michigan in the 1980's every farmer I knew had a gun cabinet on the back porch full of rifles, shot guns and ammo. Guns were tools those men and women used in controlling the population of pests on the farm. Those same men and women taught me the value of life - not just human life, but all life. I was told from a young age that you didn't just kill something because it was fun or because you were angry. Some animals, like deer and rabbits, were killed for food others met their violent demise because they ate crops and destroyed property.

I also, grew up in a world filled with church. My father was a pastor in a rural church. We were always at church, often the first to arrive and the last to leave. That church, nearly 100% white, sponsored immigrants from Cambodia fleeing the brutal regime of Pol Pot. I remember going to Cambodian picnics and eating wonderful Asian food as well as church potlucks filled with Dutch and midwest fare. I watched my father invite people of all types to sit down in Bible studies, and at tables, to fellowship in the name of Christ.

This week those two images from my youth came flooding back as I heard the news of the shooting on Charleston, SC. As word of the shooting made its way through the media, I thought about that little country church established (c.1855) around 40 years after Emanuel A.M.E. in Charleston (1816). Both churches are seen as mothers, the little country church my father served, Graafschap Christian Reformed Church (CRC), was one of the first CRC churches and mothered that denomination, while Emanuel A.M.E. is lovingly referred to as "Mother Emanuel." My mind raced to thoughts of guns, and of Bible studies where those different than the majority of the members were welcomed.

My mind continued racing while listening to the words of President Obama as he spoke following the massacre. President Obama stated:

“At some point, we as a country will have to reckon with the fact that this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries,” Mr. Obama said. He added: “It is in our power to do something about it. I say that recognizing the politics in this town foreclose a lot of the avenues right now. But it would be wrong for us not to acknowledge it. And at some point it’s going to be important for the American people to come to grips with it." (1)

Obama addressed gun control in the wake of yet another violent incident - in this case racial terrorism. I applaud our President for stating this in his response and calling on this nations leaders to do something about it. It is simply a fact that we need to ban some types of guns in the United States. I remember watching a comedian on TV once say that we should all be issued a gun at birth, but the gun issued should be a musket, because who can rob a 7-11 with a shingle shot gun that takes 5 minutes to load? While I disagree with universal gun ownership, I agree with the point. The shooter in Charleston sat in the Bible Study for NEARLY AND HOUR before opening fire. AN HOUR!!! (2) How was he able to do this? First, he was invited in and shown Christian hospitality (more on this below), and second, he had a hand gun. He had a gun you can conceal. I am willing to bet that the shooter would not have been allowed to sit for an hour in the Bible study if he was carrying a long rifle or shot gun. While a shooting may have still happened, he would have been stopped at the door and the hour long infiltration, resulting in a higher loss of life, avoided.  I believe there is a place for gun ownership. 

I believe that the farmers and hunters I grew up with have a right to own and use guns. I believe that travelers in the backcountry in my home state of Alaska should be able to carry a gun. What I think we need to ban are guns that are easily concealed and firearms made for military purposes (assault rifles, etc.). It is time for the United States to ban a large amount of the weapons we have allowed for too long.

While I felt myself strongly responding to the American gun culture in the wake of Dylann Storm Roof opening fire, it was the fact that he killed Christians at a Bible study that has struck a cord deep inside of me. It did not strike the hollow tone of the ranting found on Fox News who feverishly tried to paint this shooting as anti-Christian. (3) (4) I want to be perfectly clear, the members of Emanual A.M.E. were not killed because they were Christians, but because they were black, however they were living out their Christian faith.

The A.M.E. church has a saying, "the doors of the church are open." When young Mr. Roof came to Emanuel A.M.E. asking for the pastor and wanting to join the Bible study he was welcomed in through those open doors. He was shown hospitality. He was given the seat next to the Pastor. The members of that church did what we are all called to do as followers of Jesus. They invited someone in - someone other/different than them - and welcomed that person into their fellowship. It is something I was taught in my youth by observing those Cambodian Bible studies. It is something I have done in my ministry many, many times. This welcoming, inviting, entertaining hospitality is at the core of what it means to follow Jesus. Jesus is always inviting those he did not know, those different than himself to join in. The members of Emanuel A.M.E. are not only victims they are martyrs. They died bearing witness to a Jesus who welcomed everyone. Let us not forget that Jesus was betrayed by someone at his table - someone sitting next to him.

People of God - those striving to follow Jesus - it is easy for us to become comfortable with our faith. It is easy to forget that the way of Jesus - the welcoming of the other - made him a target. Let us not forget, in our comfortable Christianity, that when we follow Jesus we are promised that it will not always be easy, that it will not always be safe, that it will not always turn out well, but let us keep going. Let us NEVER stop inviting in the stranger. Let us never stop offering hospitality. Let us continue to bear witness to the Jesus that calls us to join him at the table even though we do not belong.

Joel K

Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
- Galatians 6:9

(1) http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/us/politics/obama-charleston-shooting.html?_r=0

(2) http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/us/charleston-church-shooting.html

(3) An excellent discussion of this can be found on Comedy Central's The Nightly Show from June 18. I know its a comedy show, but it was excellent coverage of a sad incident, with little comedy involved: http://www.cc.com/full-episodes/5awodx/the-nightly-show-june-18--2015---church-shooting-in-south-carolina-season-1-ep-01074

(4) In my mind Fox News pushed this theme in an effort to divert its largely white audience away from the fact that the shooter stated he wanted to kill black people. These type of avoidances of the issue of racism just reenforces the status quo.