The Issue with Same-Sex Marriage...and it's not what you think (or why I'm not posting on Facebook like my salvation depends on it)

This past weekend I went to a wedding.  It was a wedding between a man and a woman that happened to take place on the same day the Supreme Court of the United States declared same-sex marriage the law of the land.  At the end of that joyful event the presiding pastor said something that I think is at the core of the same-sex controversy and the churches response to it.  The pastor (a dear friend) said, "By the power given to me by the State and the Church I now pronounce you husband and wife."  We have all heard that phrase a million times, but that statement is at the core of the issue.

My pastor friend made the same statement that many, many pastors have said in marriage ceremonies for a very long time.  However, the familiarity of this statement may be keeping us from seeing what is wrong here.  Why are pastors functioning as a State official?  In the marriage ceremony we mingle the Church and the State in a way that we do not do anywhere else in our country.  My pastor friend, was functioning as both an official of the Church AND the State in the wedding I witnessed this past Friday night.  That duel functioning is at the core of why the church is embroiled in the issue of same-sex marriage.

I'm going to get right to the point.  Pastors have no business whatsoever performing a State function. Pastors are called to represent the church and God, but not the government.  In the United States of America we have separated the church and the state...except at the alter of marriage.  But in that location we are happy to allow the distinction between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of this earth to be joined as much as the couple taking the vows.  This is a huge issue and one I don't hear being discussed at all in the uproar following the Supreme Court's decision.

When a couple gets married and chooses a church wedding two things are happening.  They are legally married (State) and they say vows in front of their community committing themselves to marriage (Church).  Both are important.  That being said, one is a function of the government and the other is an ecclesiastical function.  The two should not happen simultaneously as they do now.

What makes matters even more complex is that marriage is considered a sacrament in parts of the Christian church (the Catholic and Orthodox Churches) and even when not viewed as a sacrament is seen as a sacred institution ordained by God - about as close to a sacrament as you can get.  When viewed through this lens it appears that the State is involved in the sacramental functioning of the church.  Should this be so?  Does the State have a say in The Lord's Supper or Baptism?  Then why should it be part of marriage?

I am willing to bet that sometime after the ceremony I was at this past weekend the pastor had the witnesses sign the marriage license.  I am further willing to bet that he is responsible to file that document with the Bureau of Vital Statistics.  The signing, sealing and delivering of that document are all governmental functions.  This role, as governmental clerk, should not be part of the functioning of a pastor or the church.  The licensing of marriage should be left to the State.  The Christian ceremony of marriage, where the couple promise to God and each other to love, honor and cherish each other in every circumstance while standing in the middle of their community should be left to the church.

So what does this have to do with same-sex marriage.  Simply put, if we were to untangle the knot that binds the Church and State around marriage - and the issue of same-sex marriage - the church would be free to be the church.  The Constitution of the United States makes same-sex marriage inevitable.  You can't say "all men are created equal" and avoid it for long, legally.  If the Church were not tied so closely to the State on this matter we could simply let the State do what it needs to do, i.e., license marriage.  Also, if the Church and State were not married to each other in marriage, then the church could continue preforming marriages ceremonies that allow couples to pledge their love and commitment before God, each other, and their community without a connection to the laws of the State.

I am aware that I am not addressing the moral issue, or taking a public stance on the controversy.  While many are standing up and waving one flag or another, or shouting this position or that, I simply ask, "What Kingdom are you a part of?"  I personally see my citizenship in the Kingdom of God, thus the position of an earthly court ruling in an earthly kingdom is a secondary concern.

I was talking to a pastor friend of mine a year or so ago.  He said something I will never forget.  We had just been part of a larger group conversation with other Christian leaders about what we thought was the biggest threat to the church.  After the conversation I asked my pastor friend, an Anabaptist, why he hadn't given an answer.  He simply stated, "I don't really understand how anything outside the church can be a threat.  I'm worried about what happens inside the church."

I wonder if this debate over same-sex marriage isn't, in part, a matter of being concerned with the wrong kingdom.  Have we really separated the Church and the State, or are they married?  Are we so concerned that the earthly kingdom we find ourselves living in act in ways that reflect our personal position that we are forgetting where our citizenship really resides?  What Kingdom are we a part of?


PS - I apologize for the early version that was posted with "safe-sex" rather than "same-sex" (stupid auto fill) every time.  I was not making a statement about the Catholic Church contraception position, it was just a tech glitch and a human editing issue.